1001 things I learned from D&D, part II

[Renthallin]

782) Animating a dead PC so they can carry your loot may make them a little upset.

783) A hat of disguise is great for getting away from the authorities.

784) Giving a dwarf an arquebus is not a smart thing to do.

[Toad`]

785) Don't listen to the guy that says, "But the red dragon is sleeping, we can sneak in and take some treasure no problem!!"

786) Some serving wenches can punch really hard if you grab em the wrong way

[Niemz]

787) Red Dragons often pretend to sleep

[Toad`]

788) Most dragons have innate ability of True Seeing, so invisibility does you no good.

[Razor Edge KSC]

789] Don't drink and get drunk with a generous bald wizard covered in tattoos... he may just be a Thayvian wizard.

790] Online alignment tests are an interesting and amusing way of wasting time. You never know what you might come up as.

791] It's a combination of luck, a generous DM, elven high magic and good companions if a mortal pc survives a fiendling birth.

792] Not all evil characters need be played as the stereotypical evil. The same also applies to good alignments.

793] Not all Sinkers are hell-bent on destroying the multiverse, and not all Sensates are hedonists.

794] Blade Barrier might be a brilliant defensive spell... but a devious DM will use it against you.

795] Creeping Doom in close confines [i.e a small ship carrying gunpowder, where one of the pcs carrying a weapon from the quasi-elemental plane of Lightning, is killed by the bugs causing his weapon to implode] = bad idea.

796] You know you're a bit too much of a DnD enthusiast if, after tripping/stumbling/dropping something, you declare "I just failed my dex check".

797] Don't pick pocket a necromancer on the black moon of Krynn... your newly acquired ring of Ghoul Touch may have a nasty surprise.

[schu]

782) but you told me, for heavens sake get a hobbie!

[Toad`]

798) Do not touch a d20 that just rolled a 20, have it verified with someone else first, or you will be called a liar

799) Do not get married, have kids, get a good job, etc if you want to keep playing table top RPGs

[Niemz]

800) If you get married and have kids, find someone who plays D&D

[Toad`]

801) Never tell the DM he is an idiot as you thrust a book into his face, even if he is indeed an idiot.

[Niemz]

802) When the DM wants to start early, it will be a short game session!

[Decind]

803> If the DM asks for a can of Diet Coke. Get the can for him. But make sure he is looking as you chuck it at his face. ( I nailed Niemz in the face with a full can at one session.)

[Shadow]

804) Some jokes don't ever get old... some get old very quickly.

805) The pain and suffering of PCs is a joke that, to the DM at least, never gets old.

806) PCs plowing through supposedly difficult fights with complete ease (aka the priest turning a Ghoul Dragon and then Banishing a Dracosphinx to its home plane before either gets off even a breath weapon... separate fights obviously, but back to back), at least to the DM, gets old VERY guickly, and may be responded to with a harrowing trip through Ravenloft where "yo shit don't work" is the day's theme (or, in the above examples, it may not... in that event, be aware if your DM holds a grudge or enjoys setting long-term plans that you may be getting your ass well-kicked in the future)

[roamer]

807) If you hear the thief say "OH shit" run......

[Niemz]

808) If the thief says "I don't think there are any traps...". Then there probably is...

[mathus]

809) If the Kender thief starts giggling as he looks through a keyhole while picking a lock, and then recommends you look too, don't. (It happened to be glyph of pain in the lock itself.)

810) If the mage known for being a little off his rocker asks you to rescue a friend who is "just through this portal", don't. (I drug the party to hell to rescue someone.)

811) If the same mage tries to sell you an entire country at discounted prices, the deal is probably too good to be true.

812) If you are an elven criminal running from a King's Knight with a known hatred for elves, and you just crossed the border into elven lands, and you turn around to taunt him that he can't touch you now, he will roll a natural 20 to put an arrow through your knee. (True story.)